The reason "it depends on your mama" was such a terrible thing to say is 1) it tells Ally "your mother is the only person keeping you and your best friend apart" and it prompts Ally to ask twenty million questions (seriously, no professional interrogator is as inquisitive as a child who smells a secret) about a situation Dee knows the LW finds painful. I mean, should the LW really explain to a six year old "your father had sex with Dee which is why I am not married to him anymore and I don't want to be around Dee"? But that's what Dee has set the LW up for, by weaponizing Ally's curiosity and desire to see her friend. .
Saying that Dee hurt Ally by breaking up her parents is not meant to deny LW's ex-husband's agency, but to point out that Dee also had a choice to have sex with a married man and impact his marriage, or to not do so. (I can't believe I have to defend monogamny, of all people laughs at myself) So I also feel bad for LW, whose expectation of marriage was betrayed by her ex with Dee's willing participation. I think she is in a difficult position at best. Dee and Lw's ex could've kept it in their pants.
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The reason "it depends on your mama" was such a terrible thing to say is 1) it tells Ally "your mother is the only person keeping you and your best friend apart" and it prompts Ally to ask twenty million questions (seriously, no professional interrogator is as inquisitive as a child who smells a secret) about a situation Dee knows the LW finds painful. I mean, should the LW really explain to a six year old "your father had sex with Dee which is why I am not married to him anymore and I don't want to be around Dee"? But that's what Dee has set the LW up for, by weaponizing Ally's curiosity and desire to see her friend. .
Saying that Dee hurt Ally by breaking up her parents is not meant to deny LW's ex-husband's agency, but to point out that Dee also had a choice to have sex with a married man and impact his marriage, or to not do so. (I can't believe I have to defend monogamny, of all people laughs at myself) So I also feel bad for LW, whose expectation of marriage was betrayed by her ex with Dee's willing participation. I think she is in a difficult position at best. Dee and Lw's ex could've kept it in their pants.