I cannot relate to either the dilemma or the answer

[conuly]

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has been cleaning out her closet. She has given a few great pieces of clothing to my teenage daughter, who acts like she couldn’t care less. She has accepted them, but hasn’t even tried them on and is nonchalant about the whole thing. I can tell that my neighbor wants to know if the clothes fit. I have taught my daughter to have good manners, but she’s not showing them now. How can I get her to behave better? -- Etiquette

DEAR ETIQUETTE: Your daughter may feel traumatized by being sequestered at home for so long. Even though your neighbor is being kind, chances are, your daughter isn’t really connecting to what’s happening.

You have to wake her up, so to speak. Remind her that even during times like these, good manners count. She may wish that the person paying attention to her is one of her good friends, but she needs to acknowledge the one who is being kind to her. Take away a privilege, if necessary, to get her to respond. If you confiscate her phone until she tries on the clothes and thanks your neighbor, I’d wager the gratitude will come pretty quickly. Be gentle with her, too, as this is a weird time, especially for a teenager who longs for her contemporaries.

https://www.uexpress.com/sense-and-sensitivity/2020/6/8/man-has-hard-time-keeping-in

Comments

[naath]

If I were the neighbour I'd just be happy the things were out of my house...

[welcomingsong]

Ditto! I have a firm position that hand me downs are not a something for which someone needs to feel and act grateful, until proven otherwise. This situation falls clearly into my default category of “Why on earth do you even think she wants that? She’s doing you a favour by taking these things away when thrift stores are closed and there’s nowhere else to dump them but the dump (which just reopened where I live).”