1. This young woman did not "play" your son into being friends. She decided she didn't want to date him, and then they broke up.
1a. I have no idea what "actions" you're talking about - surely you don't expect her to remain chaste for life just because she jilted your boy! - but I'm sure she either a. honestly considers your son her best friend, no matter what you think or b. is trying in an awkward, first-breakup sort of way, to be nice.
2. You all attend the same church, and she and your son are part of the same circle of friends. I'm sure she's not "flaunting" anything. You have got to get a grip.
3. You also have got to, got to, got to stop micromanaging your son. Cut the damn umbilical already! Your son is an adult, or very nearly. You should not be "limiting" his contact with his friends*, "discouraging" him from spending time with them, or otherwise meddling to this extent. Especially when, as you point out, he's heading to college just as soon as it reopens. Get some damn perspective and treat your son like the young man he is, instead of the precious baby you still imagine him to be.
4. Your son's heart will heal on its own timeline - not yours. And it'll heal all the faster if he's allowed to handle this himself.
* except in a very limited number of circumstances, not one of which seems to apply here
no subject
1a. I have no idea what "actions" you're talking about - surely you don't expect her to remain chaste for life just because she jilted your boy! - but I'm sure she either a. honestly considers your son her best friend, no matter what you think or b. is trying in an awkward, first-breakup sort of way, to be nice.
2. You all attend the same church, and she and your son are part of the same circle of friends. I'm sure she's not "flaunting" anything. You have got to get a grip.
3. You also have got to, got to, got to stop micromanaging your son. Cut the damn umbilical already! Your son is an adult, or very nearly. You should not be "limiting" his contact with his friends*, "discouraging" him from spending time with them, or otherwise meddling to this extent. Especially when, as you point out, he's heading to college just as soon as it reopens. Get some damn perspective and treat your son like the young man he is, instead of the precious baby you still imagine him to be.
4. Your son's heart will heal on its own timeline - not yours. And it'll heal all the faster if he's allowed to handle this himself.
* except in a very limited number of circumstances, not one of which seems to apply here