Christ, what an asshole

[conuly]

Dear Amy: I have a friend who is the father of a 12-year-old son. My friend's son's bedroom is filled with stuffed animals. These are not "guy" toys, but pink, yellow, orange, etc., stuffed animals. We have tried to tell the dad that this is not appropriate for a young man, but he just scoffs at us. There are hundreds of these stuffed animals in this child's room.

What are your thoughts?

-- Wondering Friend

Dear Wondering: My thoughts are that hundreds of any toy is too much for a child to possess, but it's not for you to judge the type of toys this child collects. It's also not for you to judge whether stuffed animals are sufficiently masculine for someone else's child to play with.

If this dad seeks out your counsel on the quantity and quality of his son's toys, then go for it. Otherwise, you should keep your views to yourself.

***

This is a re-run, and there are many followup letters in the link: https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askamy/s-2337162?fs

Comments

[minoanmiss]

Ugh, indeed. I hope they found some antidote to that toxic masculinity.

(Also, I doubt theere are hundreds of stuffed animals. Maybe a dozen.)

[conuly]

Hundreds is possible if they're small enough, but you're probably right, it's not likely to be more than one or two dozen.

[drglam]

I'm betting the kid had an enormous Beanie Baby (or something similar) collection.

[ashbet]

I was also guessing Beanie Babies or something similar (Kira was just the right age for the BB craze, and had a massive collection.)

And the LW is an asshole >:P

[shirou]

As a parent who values tidiness and is constantly fighting a deluge of toys, the idea of hundreds of plushies sent a shiver down my spine. But the LW can GTFO with their judgmental bias.

I'm also perplexed the LW finds orange objectionable. I was not aware anyone considered orange a feminine color.

[conuly]

A light "melon" orange, pastel, is currently coded very girl-y - take a look at the girl's side of the clothing store sometime.

A dark, reddish-orange paired with dark olive green, navy, or mud brown is coded more masculine.

[colorwheel]

i hate this part:

"If this dad seeks out your counsel on the quantity and quality of his son's toys, then go for it."

actually no. your counsel would be damaging even if they ask for it. get thee to a feminism.

[cereta]

Yes. Do not give this "counsel" to any parent, ever.

[colorwheel]

your ida icon!!! i love it!

[cereta]

We read that and Paperbag Princess to the small fanperson every night for years.

[cereta]

The 1950's called. They want their gender stereotypes back.

[xenacryst]

They're also intrigued with this capacity to have hundreds of stuffed animals in a room.

[cynthia1960]

Wandering Friend needs to STFU stat.

[green_grrl]

I read this one at WaPo, and loved that the comments section immediately filled with people talking about the stuffed animals that they still have, or that they loved and miss.

[cimorene]

If the kid lives in a large house and has access to a lot of hand-me-downs or a habit of getting toys from used toy sources like thrift shops and garage sales like I did as a kid, I'd say upwards of 100 is not implausible. It would likely look untidy, and it would probably be a nightmare in terms of dust (not to mention that thrift store and garage sale plush toys are a hazard in terms of potential bedbugs and the like, since they are usually difficult or impossible to wash or sterilize)... but I had that many at one point, I bet. I had a friend who collected them on purpose, and she had a similar number, but higher quality. And of course, if the letter's more recent than the 1990s the price of stuffed toys has come down a great deal in comparison to other items. (Of course, I didn't have a toxic masculinity barrier like this kid. Applause for him and his adult guardian(s) for withstanding that.)

[ayebydan]

Props to the dad for telling the guy where to go.