it's funny. My gender-politics-goggles made me really uncomfortable about LW's framing, and yet this is also a there-but-for-the-grace situation for me. At least once I had a #MeToo apply for my company; I knew about it because they saw we had the same alma mater in similar years so I was asked for a casual reference, and I said, very carefully, "I can't fairly tell you anything about Person because we had a toxic relationship, so you should trust someone else and not ask me" and, to give my company credit, they said "whoaaaaa we love you and we won't go further with a candidate who makes you unhappy." (This was more than 20 years ago. Today I know about missing stairs and would be more explicit about my reasons.)

But that's hardly a common interaction with a hiring manager, and I have an ex who works in my field in my area, and I sometimes wonder, absently, how I'd approach it if we ended up in the same place. It's a shitty situation for all concerned.