I dislike when advice columnists give advice that's out of the LW's control. "You can ask biodad to reach out to adoptive family" is advice. And, honestly, should be paired with "You can reassure adoptive parents that they are your parents and you'll always love them."

The only real advice here is "Invite everyone you want to invite, leave their choices to them, and move gently forward." That's good advice, but I wish Amy had added more about "and think about how to handle the repercussions if real actualfax people are less the platonic ideal of adults that you want them to be, and real actualfax family drama is more painful to the LW than the LW can bear."