Is it compulsory that a spouse know the details of one's parentage? We have no idea what trauma this woman has had to work through with regard to her adoption, nor do the relatives the husband spoke to. 30 years of silence suggests she has good reason not to discuss it. 30 years of happy marriage says it doesn't make a difference, so why on earth would he risk possibly traumatizing her now just because he's having surgery? Ridiculous.