Abby, wtf is wrong with you today?

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: My husband wants us to go to nudist resorts. We are both in our 70s and very out of shape. He is extremely overweight and old looking. Everything hangs. He has been rude and nasty to me because I always say no. I'm too old to leave him. We can't keep fighting over this. He is also very unhealthy. Help! Please give me some advice. -- CLOTHING NOT OPTIONAL

DEAR C.N.O.: I'll try. Naturist or clothing-optional resorts are not what you may think they are. They are patronized by families and individuals of every shape, size and age.

In the interest of peace in your household, please do some research. Your husband is unwell, and you belong with him. You will not be the exception, you will be the norm and you will not be judged. Try it once and you will see that when the clothes come off, we are all variations on one grand design -- even if some of the moving parts sag a little.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearabby/s-2302240

Comments

[conuly]

LW's problem is not that she doesn't want to go to a nudist resort, her problem is that her husband (who could go by himself if he pleased) is being so "rude and nasty" to her that she's contemplated divorce.

LW, you're not too old to leave him. If this is how he acts towards you, you should definitely think about it.

[torachan]

I mean, her problem is that she's also an asshole. Sounds like they deserve each other.

[cimorene]

Yeah, she seems to be a different kind of asshole (unless she's responding verbally with this kind of body-shaming, in which case they're definitely both being rude and nasty). If her spouse is adamant enough about going on a nudist vacation together that she's already contemplated divorce, and she can't respond other than by body-shaming but also can't contemplate separate vacations, perhaps a marriage counselor would be closer to what she really wants.

[oursin]

An issue may be that the resorts ban single men - UK nudist camps traditionally did - so he has to take a partner.

[melannen]

Yeah if my romantic partner responded to 'let's go to a resort' with 'never, you're too old fat and ugly to be seen in public' I'd probably get rude and nasty too. Feels like this is a terrible marriage made of terrible people all around. You're never too old to leave him, lw!

[ayebydan]

Holy unhelpful advice batman.

She doesn't want to go and that should be respected even if her reasons are cruel. It sounds like underneath she doesn't want to strip period. I also think Abby reads into how well this man is. He may just be an overweight guy who ejoys a fry up each morning figuring well, he's in his 70s. Or there could be more to it. That is not a good enough reason to make LW go to the resort.

Husband should respect wife's choices though. But if she is thinking of leaving him over this it sounds like there is far more at play.

[cynthia1960]

I have a bad feeling that this is just the latest iteration in a very long and nasty struggle.

[mirlacca]

She doesn't want to go.

End of discussion.

If he wants to go that badly, let him find some place that accepts single men. To suggest that "your husband is unwell, and you belong with him" says "The point of your existence is to enable the man you married." Screw that.