To me, the OP comes across as understandably very focused on herself and her children but perhaps lacking in awareness that her children aren't as important to everyone else.

It sounds like she has a lot of family support which is great but that she has lost track of the fact that other people don't owe her childcare.

Yes it would have been nice if her brother had cared more during hospitalization but my siblings in law didn't really contact us when our son has had surgeries so I don't think it's that strange