When my dad was older (not sick or disabled), he started going longer between showers because his skin was dry. Eventually he was going so long that he started having an odor, and Mom asked him what was up.

It turned out that some of his lifelong shower habits -- shaking his head to shake the water out of his hair, stuff like that -- were making him dizzy and making his heart pound, and he hated that feeling, so he was putting off showering.

Which sounded silly to me, except that when I was on a medication that made my heart pound when I walked, I ... stopped walking. Because it made me feel out of shape and embarrassed and ashamed.

I think that if these folks have a doctor who will actually talk to them and listen to them without a stopwatch, the wife should make an appointment, take the husband to it, and stay long enough to tell the doctor what's happening and what her concerns are.

Also, obviously, "You need to change your undergarment when it's been wet" is one conversation and "I miss holding your hand and I want to do something to feel close to you -- what would be nice for you?" is another one, even though they may both spring from his health issues.