agonyaunt | (no subject)

DEAR ABBY: One of my close friends' 37-year-old daughter was recently married. One hundred and fifty people were invited to her wedding, and I was not one of them. I sent a gift to the bride and groom before the wedding. We have been neighbors and close friends of her parents for 25 years. Needless to say, I am hurt.

My friend keeps sharing all the particulars and photos with me, which I gush over, but she doesn't realize my heart is broken. I thought we were the best of friends. She has other close friends, and I know them too. They were all at the wedding. I am sad and clueless about why I was snubbed, and I can't get over it. Help! -- HURTING INSIDE

DEAR HURTING: It was not your friend's wedding you were eliminated from but her daughter's. If there were 150 guests, half may have come from the groom's side -- friends, relatives, etc. Also, the happy couple may have wanted to include their own contemporaries. Level with your neighbor about how you feel and ask why you were left off the guest list. You may not have been snubbed at all.

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This is a hard one, because I could easily see myself in LW's shoes - in that situation I would be hurt, too, to be left off the guest list. I agree with the advice that LW should share with the friend their true feelings and stop gushing, if that's causing so much hurt.

I'm also remembering the stress around my wedding - over half the guest list were my parents' invites, which included family, friends, and their coworkers(!). At least they paid for those people...after some tense discussions.

I actually have a very nice picture of spouse and me at his boss's daughter's wedding. I barely knew his boss, and neither of us knew the bride. I think it was boss's way of making up for the insane hours she made him work ;).