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DEAR ABBY: One of my close friends' 37-year-old daughter was recently married. One hundred and fifty people were invited to her wedding, and I was not one of them. I sent a gift to the bride and groom before the wedding. We have been neighbors and close friends of her parents for 25 years. Needless to say, I am hurt.
My friend keeps sharing all the particulars and photos with me, which I gush over, but she doesn't realize my heart is broken. I thought we were the best of friends. She has other close friends, and I know them too. They were all at the wedding. I am sad and clueless about why I was snubbed, and I can't get over it. Help! -- HURTING INSIDE
DEAR HURTING: It was not your friend's wedding you were eliminated from but her daughter's. If there were 150 guests, half may have come from the groom's side -- friends, relatives, etc. Also, the happy couple may have wanted to include their own contemporaries. Level with your neighbor about how you feel and ask why you were left off the guest list. You may not have been snubbed at all.
My friend keeps sharing all the particulars and photos with me, which I gush over, but she doesn't realize my heart is broken. I thought we were the best of friends. She has other close friends, and I know them too. They were all at the wedding. I am sad and clueless about why I was snubbed, and I can't get over it. Help! -- HURTING INSIDE
DEAR HURTING: It was not your friend's wedding you were eliminated from but her daughter's. If there were 150 guests, half may have come from the groom's side -- friends, relatives, etc. Also, the happy couple may have wanted to include their own contemporaries. Level with your neighbor about how you feel and ask why you were left off the guest list. You may not have been snubbed at all.
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My fiancee and I are intermittently planning our wedding, and I'm holding firm on "no one who hasn't reached out to contact one of us in the last year is guaranteed an invitation". It has seriously cuts down on the guest list, especially in the category of "friends of parents and distant relatives".
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I don't know that you can assume that. My brother is 35 and in frequent contact with many of our mother's friends who were our neighbors when we were growing up; they have kids close to his age and he hangs out in the same social circles as they do. I'm 41 and I chat with those same friends once a year at my mom's birthday party. There's really no way to be sure what kind of relationship the LW has with her friend's daughter. I do think that if they were close the LW would have mentioned that, but there's a pretty wide range of ways to be not-close.
Good luck with the wedding planning! The guest list is often the hardest part.