Dear Abby: 2000th verse, same as the first

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My father always wanted a son, but he and Mom had only one child -- me. Now that I am the mother of two boys, he has taken over their schedule and signs them up for activities they often are not interested in pursuing. This results in my spending my time away from work taking them to activities and sports they don't enjoy.

How can I respectfully tell Dad I don't want him doing this? He often calls my children and me lazy if we say we don't want to participate in the swimming, karate, soccer, baseball, gymnastics and other activities he constantly signs them up for. We just want some downtime once in a while. This has caused many angst-ridden arguments. Please help! -- NOT INTERESTED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Everyone enjoys downtime once in a while, but if your children are spending their days sitting around, your father may have a right to be concerned. Daily physical exercise is important for good health.

Because none of the activities your father has chosen "for" your sons appeals to them, talk with them, suggest they choose a sport that does interest them and have them sign themselves up for it. Then inform your dad that you no longer want to hear critical comments about your boys because they are not constructive, and if it doesn't stop, he will be seeing less of all of you.

P.S. Because your dad signed his grandkids up for activities, I'm mystified that he wasn't more involved in providing their transportation.

Comments

[rymenhild]

Obviously, a boy who doesn't participate in a sport is lazy and doesn't care about health!

Seriously, Abby? Seriously? Exercise is good, but not everyone is cut out for athletics. Also, if those boys are swimming AND playing soccer AND playing baseball AND doing karate, they have way more than enough exercise.

[cereta]

For fuck's sake, Abby. I swear, if Laurie Strode wrote in complaining about her deranged brother killing her friends while wearing a white William Shatner mask, you'd point out that running from a deranged serial killer is great exercise, so she should be grateful. Must your knee jerk every. damn. time a letter comes anywhere NEAR physical activity, food, or weight?

What am I saying? This is a woman who has suggested that a mother's pride is contingent on her daughter being thin.

There is nothing in the letter that says either Mom (who in case you missed it, has a JOB) or the boys are lazy, just that they would like some unstructured time. As I type this, my daughter is singing and dancing around the living room. She gets PLENTY of exercise, thanks, and the fact that she didn't particularly care for soccer doesn't change that. Maybe the boys want to take tap dancing lessons. I'd be really curious to see how grandad would react to that.

[amadi]

Forest missed for the trees again, Abby. Fail.

This is a particularly noxious case of grandpa overstepping his boundaries in incredible ways and the question was about how to tell him to get the [bleep] back into his lane. I mean, that's the plain text of the thing! How does she get "have the kids sign themselves up for some other sport" out of this question? Not every kid has to play a damn sport! And grandfathers shouldn't even have the authority to sign up a kid they don't have custody of for anything!