Pregnant Bride-To-Be Imposes A Nonalcoholic Party Policy

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: My friend Nan is planning her wedding and asked if I, along with our friends, would be bridesmaids. Fast-forward a few months: The bride-to-be is now pregnant. We're having our first get-together as a bridal party, and she wants us to serve only nonalcoholic mocktails for our girls' night in. I asked the maid of honor if we could have the option of alcohol, and she said no because that's what the bride wants.

Is it rude to drink in front of a pregnant bride? Obviously, I will honor Nan's wishes, but I'd like a second opinion. Should this no-alcohol policy be in effect for all pre-wedding events (shower, bachelorette party, etc.)? I feel we're all adults and should be able to make our own choices. It's not as if we're going to get wasted at these things. Your thoughts, please? -- PERPLEXED BRIDESMAID

DEAR BRIDESMAID: In most cases, it is not considered rude to consume alcohol in front of someone who is abstaining, although many people choose to refrain, too. In this case, the bride would not have specified that she wanted no alcohol served if she was comfortable with her bridal party drinking when she couldn't join in. Her wishes should take precedence.

https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearabby/s-2286018

Comments

[mommy]

The bride is the guest of honor, and she cannot drink alcohol. It is incredibly rude to demand that her party contain an activity that she is unable to participate in. This feels like a very obvious point of etiquette to me? I don't understand why the letter writer needs a second opinion here.

[conuly]

Probably because she's an alcoholic and wants Dear Abby to... I don't know, to SAY SOMETHING.

[ambyr]

Oh, I don't think she needs to be an alcoholic for this scenario to occur; my experience, as someone who keeps an alcohol-free house for personal reasons, is that perfectly normal people with perfectly normal drinking habits can go absolutely batshit if told they can't drink for a single evening, even if under normal circumstances they often go days or weeks without a glass of alcohol.

I don't understand it, but it's true.

[lilysea]

I'm a life-long non drinker, and I'm not sure I agree?

I mean, I don't thinking drinking should be the focus of the evening,

but the guests having one drink seems ok, even if the guest of honour can't.

[mommy]

It's a bridal party, which makes the bride the focus of the evening. She can't drink, so a party celebrating her would become very awkward if alcohol was supplied, especially after she expressly said she didn't want alcohol present. The guests can have a few drinks on their own time after the party if they want to, though.