Judge John Hodgman on Showing Respect for Americanisms

[conuly]

James writes: My husband ignores me when I refer to our couch as a “couch.” We live in England, where it is known as a sofa. Whilst it is unusual to say “couch” here, I have done so for decades without confusion. Lately he has responded to me by acting confused and claiming we don’t own a “couch.”

The court appreciates your dispute, as I (from Boston) have always called it a “sofa,” to my own wife’s confusion, and now I appreciate that the word may be a remnant of New Englandy Englandism. In any case, yes, England has different words for things. For example, instead of word-that-rhymes-with-gas-hole, a Brit would say word-that-rhymes-with-farce-hole, which is what your husband is being. I hereby order him to cease word-that-rhymes-with-ass-lighting you, and meanwhile, never drop “whilst” in my column again. You’ve been warned.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/18/magazine/judge-john-hodgman-on-showing-respect-for-americanisms.html

Comments

[conuly]

I maaaaaay have posted this mostly to show off my knowledge that while "whilst" is a bit unusual and even pretentious in the US, it's a perfectly normal word in British English.

[jadelennox]

"whilst" is one of those words that reenters my vocabulary periodically when I've been spending time with family, and then I use it among Americans by accident and feel like a pretentious wanker.

[melannen]

Say "okay, I'll stop with 'couch'" and then never call it anything but a davenport again for the rest of your life. :D

[onlysmallwings]

:D lol

Or possibly Chesterfield?

[movingfinger]

Davenport is also American. Chesterfield is a specific design!

"Settee" should get his blood pressure up though.

[onlysmallwings]

A delightful solution! :)

[melannen]

Davenport and Chesterfield are both specific designs in some places and not others! I have gotten in fights with New Yorkers who think Davenport is specific when my midwestern grampa used it for all couches. I think the nonspecific Chesterfield is Canadian actually, if you want to kneecap people who are accusing you of being too USian.

...wikipedia also suggests "canapé" which sounds like it could be delightfully irritating as a word choice.

[sporky_rat]

What about a divan? A settee? A love seat? The fainting couch or Récamier?

(I never expected the childhood being forced to go through old home inventories to be useful! Thanks, Cousin Shirley!)

[melannen]

Every time he pretends he doesn't know what a couch is, just run down the whole list of increasingly annoying options!

Either you're the kind of couple for which it will become an injoke and a bonding experience, or it will mercifully speed up the oncoming breakup. Win-win, really!

[purlewe]

a daybed? a banquette? A bench? (I like this game.)

But seriously.. it always annoys me when people KNOW what you are saying but want to be word specific. if you understood my meaning then lets move on. (see anyone who wants to argue lunch/dinner/supper)

[cereta]

Heck, I get annoyed when people correct "can" and "may." Please, daughter's teacher, you know perfectly well that she is not asking if she is able to go to the bathroom. It is a distinction made clear by context, and therefore just you being fiddly.

[sporky_rat]

But seriously.. it always annoys me when people KNOW what you are saying but want to be word specific. if you understood my meaning then lets move on. (see anyone who wants to argue lunch/dinner/supper)

I will double check on lunch and supper, though, because I grew up with lunch and dinner being noon meal and supper being the evening meal. I know not everyone did, so I like to double check so I don't have miscommunications. (But I won't argue it with you!)

[ysobel]

I think there's a difference between clarification ("are you free for dinner next Tuesday?" may have different answers depending on which meaning of dinner) and unnecessary quibbling ("we're going to dinner now, do you want to come?" "it's 7pm and 'dinner' by definition is before 4pm so do you mean you're going to *supper*?").

I grew up with lunch = midday (meal 2 of 3), dinner = evening (meal 3 of 3), supper = a rarely used word. If you invited me to "dinner at noon tomorrow" or "supper", me quibbling that you're using words wrong isn't helpful. As long as I know what you are communicating, I don't need to be an ass.

[melannen]

I currently work a job where half the staff work a 1-9 shift and have 'lunch break' at four, so those have lost all meaning to me.

[starwatcher]

.
Many years ago, a horse-loving/owning friend was in the passenger seat of hubby's truck. She saw an obstacle/problem ahead (I forget exactly what), and in her urgency to let him know, all she could say was, "Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!!" He ignored her and got in an accident because, as he told her afterward, "I am not a horse."

Yeah. That marriage didn't last a lot longer.
.

[pensnest]

More of a donkey, I'd say.

[conuly]

Canape!?

[cereta]

I'm for it. My grandmother used that word. My mom referred to the not-butter spread as "oleo" not too long ago. Even she kind of blinked at that one.

[cimorene]

The number of these things where my first thought is either "divorce" or "how did you ever start to cohabit with this person or marry them" is truly astounding.

I mean, there's being kind of a dick or having some annoying spousal habits and then there's suddenly and without warning wanting not to re-litigate whether regional variants are legitimate words or not but to unilaterally decide that they aren't and boycott verbal communication with your life partner after 'decades'. If this is the only little problem ever on an otherwise spotless relationship and the guy otherwise totally respects her as an equal human being whom he is pleased to have as a partner, then someone somewhere should be eating headgear.

[feldman]

Exactly.

[lemonsharks]

Husband is trolling. If it bugs LW that much, they should tell him.

[ayebydan]

Brits use both as well as settee pretty interchangeably. Or even a lounge~ Husband is being a berk but the sofa is hardly the issue here. Why he is being so ridiculous is a problem that needs addressed in itself.

[jadelennox]

is settee a regionalism in Britain? My London family never use it and my Birmingham family use it all the time.

Also, Americans say "sofa," too, right? I know I sometimes get confused about Britishisms in my vocabulary that Americans don't say, but I am sure "sofa" is also American. And i've heard couch in the UK, as you say.

[ayebydan]

I've asked a few friends and it seems that people tend to use one or the other predominantly but there doesn't seem to be a pattern as to where ie north or south ect.

I have no idea about Americans and sofa.

[pennyplainknits]

I’m a Brummie and have always called it settee but I think it’s also a class marker, as the kids from the posh schools call it sofa