I admit, I do this. And I do it now while mine is alive. But I use it as a way to get them to stop asking me to reconcile. "do you recommend all people to reconcile with their abusers? or just reconcile with abusive parents?" that usually gets them to stop.

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." - Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life