I mean, there are plenty of divorced dads who don't manage bare minimum, and at that point, yeah, lw needs to speak up, because if she's ever not there someone needs to know.

But what we've actually got in the letter is, like, we don't agree on the screentime rules, and dad is lenient about bedtimes. If they were planning to have more kids, that would be stuff they needed to compromise on, but they're not.

Letting dad spoil him may result in a less pleasant kid to live with, but it won't ruin the kid for life, promise, and sometimes it's the only way dad will learn.