agonyaunt | (no subject)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 42-year-old divorced father of two. I have had a girlfriend, "Dawn," for about a year. She has met my kids, but she's still uncomfortable with the "situation." She has concerns about me having been married before, such as having experienced many of the firsts she has yet to enjoy.

Dawn doesn't like being in my house because I had it when I was married, and she says my kids remind her of my past. She says she doesn't want to share me with anyone, including them.

When we're alone, we are absolutely phenomenal as a couple. We love and care about each other deeply. This is causing a tremendous amount of stress on us, and neither of us knows how to handle it or what to do. Please help. -- TWO'S COMPANY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TWO'S COMPANY: Forgive me for being blunt, but you need to break it off with this woman before you waste any more of her time or yours. You may be crazy about Dawn, but your first responsibility must be to your children, and she has made it clear how she feels about them.

You may be phenomenal as a couple, but there are more people involved than just the two of you. She needs to find someone who has no encumbrances, and you need to find a lady who has a greater capacity for love than Dawn appears to be capable of.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Man, is there something in the water lately? This is the second letter in like a week from a single parent that essentially amounts to, "my partner doesn't want to have anything to do with my kids; what do I do?"

THIS IS NOT A HARD QUESTION. I admit that this is easy for me, because I never felt any great need for a romantic partner (I have often told my spouse that it is proof of how much I love him that I overcame my inclination to be a single cat lady), but I can't think of a single person or thing that I would choose over my child. And any person who doesn't respect and understand that is not a person I want to be around.

Thiiiiis. Like what the shit dude. Also what the shit, lady? You want no past, don't go for guys with kids! Did he, like, keep it secret until they were already together or something? If not, what is wrong with you?

I cannot imagine having this even be an issue. Granted, I already have a "love me, deal with my cat" policy, so my children would go without saying. (And anyone who thinks men would be different has a low opinion of fathers."