I like your script. In the spirit of Captain Awkward, I might also add a suggestion to redirect - either to tell them what it *would* be helpful to say (esp if this is a friend or someone you actually want to keep hanging out with - giving them a script to follow can help minimize clueless flailing), or change the topic. Or, if it's possible, to just end the interaction.
In particularly egregious cases of "why can't you just forgive and forget??? (so I will be more comfortable)" I have also gone for the aggressive option and listed, calmly and factually, the horrible things that I am not, in fact, ever going to "get over" and ask them point blank if they think those things were okay and forgettable. If they keep trying to minimize, I keep broken-record repeating the Actual Facts. (This was not for total strangers, but for family who already knew about the events and just wanted to brush them under the carpet, so no actual disclosure was involved. Just pointed reminders.)
It's not a particularly nice option, but then, they weren't being nice to me. (And it makes me feel... not exactly better, because UGH, but satisfactorily defiant? Like, "No, you cannot silence me with social pressure. Not happening. I am prepared to make this Really Goddamn Awkward until you back down and stop being an abuse apologist at me.")
But mostly people are awful about trauma, so if it doesn't push "I am being silenced" buttons, not talking about it, or being vague and changing the subject, is likely to be the least stressful option. :/ (eta: which is, yes, awful and shouldn't be the case. deliberately not talking about things is also stressful! only the person in question can decide, in any given situation, which stress they feel more equipped to handle.)
Actually I think my real suggestion for LW would be "hang out with other people who Know Trauma and won't be jerks about it, so you have a social circle where this doesn't constantly happen and you can get a break from society's collective victim-blaming jerkbrain."
no subject
In particularly egregious cases of "why can't you just forgive and forget??? (so I will be more comfortable)" I have also gone for the aggressive option and listed, calmly and factually, the horrible things that I am not, in fact, ever going to "get over" and ask them point blank if they think those things were okay and forgettable. If they keep trying to minimize, I keep broken-record repeating the Actual Facts. (This was not for total strangers, but for family who already knew about the events and just wanted to brush them under the carpet, so no actual disclosure was involved. Just pointed reminders.)
It's not a particularly nice option, but then, they weren't being nice to me. (And it makes me feel... not exactly better, because UGH, but satisfactorily defiant? Like, "No, you cannot silence me with social pressure. Not happening. I am prepared to make this Really Goddamn Awkward until you back down and stop being an abuse apologist at me.")
But mostly people are awful about trauma, so if it doesn't push "I am being silenced" buttons, not talking about it, or being vague and changing the subject, is likely to be the least stressful option. :/
(eta: which is, yes, awful and shouldn't be the case. deliberately not talking about things is also stressful! only the person in question can decide, in any given situation, which stress they feel more equipped to handle.)
Actually I think my real suggestion for LW would be "hang out with other people who Know Trauma and won't be jerks about it, so you have a social circle where this doesn't constantly happen and you can get a break from society's collective victim-blaming jerkbrain."