Dear Abby: Yawning

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I disagree about when and where it is acceptable to yawn. I believe a public yawn during dinner or conversation is not appropriate. She sees no reason why a natural human trait such as yawning should be stifled.

Again, my assertion is that yawning denotes boredom or lack of interest in what people are conversing about or doing. What are your thoughts? — NOT A YAWNER IN FLAGSTAFF, ARIZ.

DEAR NOT A YAWNER: My thoughts are similar to an observation made by English writer G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936), who said, “A yawn is a silent shout.” I have never seen anyone who is intensely interested in something yawn, and to do it in the presence of others implies that the yawner is tired, bored or otherwise not fully engaged.

Comments

[recessional]

Bullshit. I yawn when interested in things all the time: it denotes that I'm SLEEPY.

[cereta]

What I am tempted to say:

Dear Abby:
As someone with a chronic condition that causes fatigue, and is on several fatigue-causing medications, fuck you.

What I will say when I'm not quite so tired:
Dear Abby,
Those of us who suffer from chronic fatigue, or who are on medications that cause fatigue, are often as engaged as we are able to be at any given moment. Our yawns are not a personal slight against the person we are with, the film/show we are watching, the teacher we are listening to (or class we are teaching), or book we are reading. They are simply a reflection of our daily struggles with fatigue. It's hard enough sometimes just getting out the door in the morning. Can you cut us a little slack on the small things?

Lucy

[kaberett]

YES QUITE.

[deird1]

*nods*

I was on a medication that made me sleepy, for a full year. During which I went to three family weddings, and fell asleep at each of them. Not because I didn't want to be there, but simply because I was TIRED.

[thedivinegoat]

This.

[delphi]

I don't think I've ever assumed that someone is bored or uninterested in what I'm saying when they yawn. I save that assumption for when I catch them playing Candy Crush on their phones under the table.

[ysobel]

+1

(Yawns are rarely deliberate. Playing games on smartphones, though, is.)

[delphi]

In hindsight, I think growing up in a family of shift-workers particularly influenced my "bwuh?" reaction to this letter. Many, many people are tired when they're socializing - because they've been working or otherwise exerting themselves all day/week. I don't think I've had a conversation with my father in the last 20 years where he didn't yawn.

[korafox]

Plus, yawning functions to get more oxygen to your brain...which in turn helps to pay more attention to whatever is going on. That's the physiological purpose I've always heard for it, anyways.

[madripoor_rose]

They keep doing studies that show 98% of the population is sleep deprived to one degree or another, and people still believe that yawning means boredom?

[taselby]

Word.

[minoanmiss]

Isn't that what covering one's mouth while yawning is for? Yawns ae just a physiological reaction.

[eleanorjane]

Yet again, Abby proves she's completely lost touch with how ordinary human beings behave. What the hell.

[cheyinka]

Meanwhile, I am puzzled at how one could reliably keep from yawning, which I think may say something about my sleep. I mean, I can cover my mouth or look away, and I can certainly apologize, but the way I know I can't stay up any longer is when something intensely interesting can't help me keep from letting my eyes close; yawning starts a good hour or so before that!

[azurelunatic]

FUCK OFF ABBY.

[vass]

have never seen anyone who is intensely interested in something yawn, and to do it in the presence of others implies that the yawner is tired, bored or otherwise not fully engaged.

If her standard for "intensely interested" is not to yawn, then I'm not surprised she's never seen an intensely interested person yawning.

And "intensely interested" is a cruelly high bar for social gatherings. Can't we settle for "polite attention"?

"Not tired" also seems too high a bar. If it's impolite to be tired, hungry, anxious, awkward, or ill in polite company, then a lot of people will have to recuse themselves altogether. Which is also impolite. We're not allowed not to be social, and we're not allowed to have the impediments which are forcing us out of society either.