Sense and Sensitivity: Mouse in the house and a rat in the marriage

[cereta]

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a densely populated apartment building. I keep my apartment clean, but I have noticed recently that there are signs of mice. I have talked to my husband about it and asked him to help me out more. I do all the housework. Even though I ask him to help me with the dishes after I cook, he rarely complies. I feel tired all the time from handling all household duties and working. How can I get my husband to help me? Mousetraps aren’t going to work without cleaning up, too. Oh, yeah, and he refuses to allow us to get a housekeeper, even though we can afford it. -- Mouse House, Detroit

DEAR MOUSE HOUSE: Remind your husband of how unhealthy it is for both of you to have a mouse in your house. Mice carry all kinds of germs, and you cannot control where they roam once they are in your home. Ask him if he will partner with you to make the house cleaner. Point out that right now you are saddled with all the responsibility, and it’s just too much for you to manage. Encourage him to come into the kitchen with you to help with cleanup. Start by cleaning together. That may be the way to get him to do anything at all.

Comments

[the_rck]

Isn't that what the LW said they already did?

[cereta]

Yup. It's kind of typical Harriette:

LW: My husband won't help with housework no matter how many times I ask.
Harriete: Ask your husband for help.

Personally, I think she should just higher the housecleaner. "Allow," my Aunt Fanny.

[ayebydan]

That was how I took it. What horrendous advice.

[minoanmiss]

Dear LW: Hire a housecleaner. If necessary, sell husband for parts.


Sometimes I wonder how these guys justify it to themselves. "My wife has asked me for help but obviously she doesn't need it and/or housework will make my balls fall off."

[tielan]

Hire a hitman to deal with the husband. Then hire a housecleaner to help neaten things up after he's dead.

(I am only mostly kidding.)

[minoanmiss]

Make sure the hitman uses non-perforating methods, as blood is a biohazard which most cleaning services will not want to deal with!

[tielan]

"Ask me how I know..."

:D

[minoanmiss]

cackles :D

[jadelennox]

+1

[xenacryst]

Hire the housecleaner. It's your time and your emotional energy that's being spent right now, so hire the housecleaner.

That said, as someone who does have housecleaners come regularly, there is a certain baseline level of neatness that housecleaners need to do their work. If you've got stacks of paper, boxes, piles of laundry, dirty dishes, or whatever, the basic cleaning services are not going to deal with that. More than basic might, but you need to decide how much you're going to get ready for the cleaners, how much of that is going to be your work, and how much you can get your husband to do by sticking his sorry ass at the end of a Swiffer and getting his balls in the cobwebs.

Also, the prep and results of the cleaners will be obvious. He'll be furious. You can tell him to go eff himself, or you can try to get counseling/mediation. But there's a tough relationship bridge y'all need to cross one way or another.

Note: he doesn't give two shakes of a rat's ass about the health effects of mice, at least not unless he gets Hanta or Bubonic. So you can take Harriette's first line and shove it in the Swiffer with the rest of the cobwebs.

I swear, men are all fired this week.

[amireal]

As someone who has lived in several apartments (densly populated ones) there are some things you simply cannot control. You occasionally get cockroaches or vermin. ESPECIALLY in tall buildings with garbage chutes. You can do your best for your apartment, sign up for the regular pest control visit when needed and keep your eye out for things that might be covered by maintenance but isn't being taken care of as well. You cannot police other people's apartments as long as there's no obvious landfill situation happening. It's one of the trade offs of choosing a building over a private house. If it genuinely bothers LW this much, it might be time to look at their housing situation.

And of course, I approve of the house keeper, especially if husband does not lift a finger towards cleaning.

[jadelennox]

yes, and store foods in mouse-proof containers (and you would be surprised at how many containers are not mouse proof). It's an apartment building; you may be able to control the cleanliness of your own home, eventually, but you can't control all of your neighbors, and for that matter, you can't really control the ecosystem that well.

This doesn't change the household politics problem which needs to be addressed, but is still necessary.

[cereta]

We got an aluminum bred box to protect against mice. It took them 24 hours to bend the metal enough to wriggle in.

[jadelennox]

Wow.

And yet, I totally believe this. It took us a while to realize that the only thing that works against pantry moth is good sealing plastic containers (we use take-out containers) because they can wiggle up the screw tops of glass jars or any non-watertight plastic.

[pensnest]

How can I get my husband to help me?

Stop. Feeding. Him.