This. And it sounds like this ain't new - it's been going on for years. However, it sounds like the husband is open to working this out, but I'm not sure if LW is (at least with the comment "trying to acknowledge their feelings and wants to do better"). So, maybe both LW and her husband need to take a deep breath and try to see things from the kids' and grandkids' perspective. I'd actually say that counseling is still on the table, because it sounds like the two of them need to open up to some different perspectives on their behavior, and that can be done in their town.