Dear Abby:Lack of Feeling Provokes Concern

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I have become completely unemotional. I don't feel sad when there is a death. I feel no joy when I see a baby and, in fact, think people are selfish for having children in the world we live in today. When a couple gets married, I also feel -- nothing.

I'm 66 and have a great life with no health or financial problems. I'm friendly when I'm out in public, although I'd rather be left alone. I'm not miserable. I am just burned out on human beings and feel numb. What's up with me? -- ABNORMAL IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ABNORMAL: Have you seen your doctor during the past year? If not, you should, to rule out a physical illness. If there's nothing physically wrong, you may be describing something called "ennui" -- a kind of world-weariness. (An old song performed by Peggy Lee titled "Is That All There Is?" which you can find on YouTube, expresses it perfectly.)

A change in your routine may give you the jolt you need. If you aren't in the habit of doing it, 30 minutes of brisk daily exercise might give you a lift. However, if that doesn't help your malaise, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional may help you understand why you've been feeling the way you do.

Comments

[cereta]

I admit, I posted this because of a pet peeve of mine: That whole "irresponsible to have a baby in today's world" thing always cracks me up. I grew up during the Cold War, when we were sure that a nuclear war would happen eventually, and "consoled" ourselves by talking about why our city would get hit and we would all die right away, Age-wise, the LW probably grew up when children drilled hiding under their desks.

This doesn't even get into things like the Great Depression, Jim Crow, influenza, the Black Death, the Inquisition, etc. There has never been a perfect or even particularly "good" world to have children in.

(And yes, I realize that this is but a small part of the OP's overall condition, but it's a pet peeve nonetheless).

[minoanmiss]

I hear you. If my ancestors hadn't persevered through slavery, including raising their children under that unspeakably horrible system, I wouldn't be here today. I'm very grateful to them.

[eleanorjane]

Is Abby just entirely ignorant of depression, or was she dancing around the word to avoid the LW disengaging? I honestly can't tell.

[jadelennox]

Seriously! That is all *textbook*, and if the LW is 66 it puts their life at particular risk.

[shirou]

Maybe Abby was just trying to avoid armchair diagnosing. In this case I think it would have been fine for Abby to say the LW is exhibiting many signs of depression, but in general I think it's a good practice for columnists to avoid jumping to a diagnosis and instead recommend LWs see mental health professionals for both diagnosis and treatment.