Ask a Manager: My Coworker Was My Uber Driver

[minoanmiss]

When your coworker is your Uber driver

This happened to a coworker, not me, but now I’m paranoid it will. She told me that over the weekend she and her roommate got in an Uber to get to a bar, and the driver was our other coworker. I have nothing against side hustles/second jobs (I work one myself, as a bartender at a theater), but of all the people we work with (we’re standard office workers at a large employer in our city) I would not have expected this specific person to take up Uber driving for extra cash.

So, WWYD? My coworker said she was pretty silent the entire time but did acknowledge/greet our coworker/driver. I wouldn’t know how to act, especially if I was coming home after a night out and not sober, or with a date, or just having a bad day.

This doesn’t need to be a big deal! You’d treat the coworker like you would if the driver were anyone else you knew — meaning, greet them warmly, ask how they’re doing, and, if you’re up to it, make pleasant conversation during the drive. It’s no different than your own second job, or than if you ran into them on, say, a subway. I know the power dynamics might feel a little weird — you are now paying them to provide you with a service — but treat it like you would any other unexpected public encounter with someone you know from work, and it doesn’t need to be awkward at all.

If you weren’t in a frame of mind where you could easily carry on a warm conversation (whether from a bad day or whatever else), you could say, “I hope you don’t mind, I’m exhausted and was planning to just rest my eyes during the drive.” That’s probably a good strategy if you aren’t sober as well, to avoid lowered inhibitions leading you to say anything you normally wouldn’t.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

(as an aside I really need to make a chariot icon already)

... what is the actual problem? That the situation is a little awkward? At MOST I can see, maybe, worrying that Uber Driver Coworker may report to Boss "I drove LW home yesterday and she was DRUNK" but even around people who work with children fewer people are that pearl-clutchy these days.

[conuly]

Some people really don't like slightly awkward situations. Which is dumb, but there we are, I guess.

(Also, I'm willing to bet that LW does kinda judge people who do Uber etc. instead of working a Steady Job, or in addition to, but they don't want to admit that because it's shitty.)

[princessofgeeks]

I too was puzzled as to why this was even a thing. I don't see the problem. Maybe the LW was weirded out at the idea that the person might have needed a second job and that was somehow shameful? Or the LW is hung up on the "class implications" somehow? That the coworker was now "serving her" and that changed their relationship? Which also makes no sense to me!!!

[mrissa]

Yeah, exactly, I think the answer is really as simple as "driving Uber is a thing some people do and you do not do, not a thing that is BENEATH YOU."

[topaz_eyes]

Wow. I wonder how LW treats coworkers who run into her at the theatre while she's bartending.

Plus she leaves out this little detail: I would not have expected this specific person to take up Uber driving for extra cash. Why does that matter so much to LW? Coworker's reasons for driving an Uber are his own. If LW is uncomfortable with encountering this person again, they could maybe use another service, or request coworker not be their driver.

[topaz_eyes]

Maybe coworker is her boss/supervisor?

[dissectionist]

oh no my coworker is DOING POOR WRONG and it might EMBARASS ME TO BE NEAR THEM while they’re POORING

[tielan]

I was trying to work out how to say exactly this.

[dissectionist]

This letter brought out my class resentment rather intensely, LOL. Been on the brunt end of classism too many times in my life.

[lokifan]

Yep!!!

I think there's probably some xenophobia wrapped up in it - Uber driving is a lot more accessible to people who don't speak much English than bartending, and I suspect that contributes to the idea that this side-hustle is for OTHER TYPES OF PEOPLE - but fundamentally this is just LW feeling awkward cos of classism.

[lilysea]

The problem I can see is if LW has a facade/closet at work and now has to pretend that
in front of the coworker in the uber.

I would have felt very uncomfortable with this when I was working for Gov Dept - because I was not out as bisexual at work, and I also I pretended to be much more normal/much less weird at work.

(It was a very conservative workplace.)

[minoanmiss]

Ok that makes sense. But if that were the case I’d think the LW would have mentioned it.

[full_metal_ox]

I ran into one of the office managers from my previous apartment at a local restaurant doing Doordash, and my reaction was, No single job pays you enough to survive? Damn! (And the clerk I deal with most often at the local Dollar General also cleans houses, and another was working in the pro wrestling industry as a designer.)