it can be really small things - the taste of the brand of toothbrush, not liking wet hair afterwards - that can be fixed. Going through them with curiousity and a sense of experimenting like sample sizes of different products, getting them to make a bathtime playlist with a bluetooth speaker so they have a sense of minimum time that's fun etc.

Shame works short term but has such bad long term effects.

Also the nighttime face washing - making it a shared activity to chill out and do a five-step-beauty thing would turn that into a special time as well. I realised recently that my kid's reluctance to regularly brush her teeth on her own is also wanting me to check in and be with her about something she finds physically uncomfortable.