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I get the feeling that these people make their own problems....
1. Dear Annie: I'm a brokenhearted Nana who could really use your advice.
I have a 10-month-old grandson whom I adore, but I'm not allowed to kiss him -- not even on the back of his head. Recently, in a moment of pure affection, I forgot and gently kissed the back of his head. It was instinctual. I love him so much, it just happened.
The reaction was swift and harsh. I was scolded and now I'm not allowed to hold him unless he's sitting on my lap, facing away from me. To make matters worse, I'm only allowed to see him every other weekend for two hours, and someone has to be in the room to supervise me the entire time.
I've tried to talk to my son about it, but any attempt leads to an argument or a shutdown. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells just to be near my grandson, and my heart is breaking.
Is there anything I can do in this situation? I feel so lost. -- Heartbroken Nana
Dear Heartbroken: I can feel the love and the pain in your letter. This situation sounds heartbreaking, but it's rooted in something more than just that one kiss. Many new parents today have firm boundaries, often tied to health concerns or parenting philosophies. Right or wrong, it's their call.
For now, the best way to stay close is to respect the rules, as hard as they feel. Show your love through gentle presence, patience and consistency. In time, as trust rebuilds and your grandson grows, the restrictions may ease. Let your son know you're willing to follow their rules because your priority is staying in your grandson's life. Your love is clear. Let that be your guide.
Link one
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2. Dear Annie: I've been dating a wonderful man for five years, and for the most part, our relationship is strong and loving. We don't live together, so we typically see each other just a couple of times a week, with more time together when we go on vacation. That time feels precious to me. But lately, I've found myself increasingly frustrated, and I'm not sure how to bring it up without sounding jealous or petty.
The issue is his 30-year-old son, who calls or texts him constantly, even when we're on vacation. It's not about emergencies -- just frequent check-ins or casual conversations that end up interrupting our time together. I understand and respect the bond between a father and son, but I can't help feeling like a third wheel when we're supposed to be enjoying quality time as a couple.
I don't want to compete for attention, and I certainly don't want to damage their relationship. I just wish my partner could create some boundaries during our time together so we can stay focused on each other.
How can I bring this up in a way that's honest but kind, and without sounding like I'm being unreasonable? -- Feeling Overlooked
Dear Feeling Overlooked: You are not being unreasonable. You are simply asking for quality time in a relationship where time together is limited. That is not jealousy. That is emotional honesty.
It is clear your partner has a close bond with his son, and that is something to appreciate. A father who stays connected to his adult child is often someone with a strong sense of loyalty and care. The issue here is not the son reaching out. It is the lack of boundaries around when and how your partner responds, especially during your shared time.
Healthy boundaries do not weaken relationships. They strengthen them. They help everyone feel respected and valued. Right now, your needs are being unintentionally sidelined. It is perfectly fair to say, "I really value our time together, and it would mean a lot if we could unplug a bit during holidays so we can truly connect."
This does not mean shutting his son out. It means carving out space for your relationship to thrive. If your partner understands and loves you, he will want to find that balance, too.
Link two
I have a 10-month-old grandson whom I adore, but I'm not allowed to kiss him -- not even on the back of his head. Recently, in a moment of pure affection, I forgot and gently kissed the back of his head. It was instinctual. I love him so much, it just happened.
The reaction was swift and harsh. I was scolded and now I'm not allowed to hold him unless he's sitting on my lap, facing away from me. To make matters worse, I'm only allowed to see him every other weekend for two hours, and someone has to be in the room to supervise me the entire time.
I've tried to talk to my son about it, but any attempt leads to an argument or a shutdown. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells just to be near my grandson, and my heart is breaking.
Is there anything I can do in this situation? I feel so lost. -- Heartbroken Nana
Dear Heartbroken: I can feel the love and the pain in your letter. This situation sounds heartbreaking, but it's rooted in something more than just that one kiss. Many new parents today have firm boundaries, often tied to health concerns or parenting philosophies. Right or wrong, it's their call.
For now, the best way to stay close is to respect the rules, as hard as they feel. Show your love through gentle presence, patience and consistency. In time, as trust rebuilds and your grandson grows, the restrictions may ease. Let your son know you're willing to follow their rules because your priority is staying in your grandson's life. Your love is clear. Let that be your guide.
Link one
2. Dear Annie: I've been dating a wonderful man for five years, and for the most part, our relationship is strong and loving. We don't live together, so we typically see each other just a couple of times a week, with more time together when we go on vacation. That time feels precious to me. But lately, I've found myself increasingly frustrated, and I'm not sure how to bring it up without sounding jealous or petty.
The issue is his 30-year-old son, who calls or texts him constantly, even when we're on vacation. It's not about emergencies -- just frequent check-ins or casual conversations that end up interrupting our time together. I understand and respect the bond between a father and son, but I can't help feeling like a third wheel when we're supposed to be enjoying quality time as a couple.
I don't want to compete for attention, and I certainly don't want to damage their relationship. I just wish my partner could create some boundaries during our time together so we can stay focused on each other.
How can I bring this up in a way that's honest but kind, and without sounding like I'm being unreasonable? -- Feeling Overlooked
Dear Feeling Overlooked: You are not being unreasonable. You are simply asking for quality time in a relationship where time together is limited. That is not jealousy. That is emotional honesty.
It is clear your partner has a close bond with his son, and that is something to appreciate. A father who stays connected to his adult child is often someone with a strong sense of loyalty and care. The issue here is not the son reaching out. It is the lack of boundaries around when and how your partner responds, especially during your shared time.
Healthy boundaries do not weaken relationships. They strengthen them. They help everyone feel respected and valued. Right now, your needs are being unintentionally sidelined. It is perfectly fair to say, "I really value our time together, and it would mean a lot if we could unplug a bit during holidays so we can truly connect."
This does not mean shutting his son out. It means carving out space for your relationship to thrive. If your partner understands and loves you, he will want to find that balance, too.
Link two
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The second, which I think may be a little bit more likely, is that the baby has a serious health concern, LW absolutely knows it, LW has also been undermining the parents every way she can since forever, and if she keeps it up they'll ban her from visiting entirely.
Either way, the way forward is to follow their rules and smile.
2. Don't compete with your partner's child, you won't win. If these phone calls and texts really are unreasonably frequent - which we don't know, because LW was not at all clear on the frequency! - then LW will most likely need to find a new sweetie, because Boyfriend is not, at this point, going to ask Son to stop.
Alternatively, if "calls and texts constantly" means "this takes up perhaps 10 minutes of the day, total, between the hours of 9am and 8pm" then LW needs to get a grip. It's not a crime for a man to want to keep in touch with his dad.
(But it's fair, either way, to ask that the phone stays off during dates - not vacations! dates! - and dinners.)
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who, when she was age 25 or so,
one time called both of us nonstop when she knew we were out to diner and then the theatre
because of the emergency that ***the home internet had stopped working***.
I was not impressed. We came out of the theatre when the play was over, turned our phones on, and for a few minutes, before we managed to get hold of her, genuinely were worried that she had had some kind of health crisis. (She'd been in hospital very unexpectedly for a sudden health emergency the year before.)
There was no reason the internet being out for a few hours was a genuine emergency that merited a gazillion phone calls to both of us, she was just bored and wanted to play Dragon Age.
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Relevant: https://www.reddit.com/r/NewParents/comments/1d9aa0v/i_gave_my_baby_daughter_herpes_hsv1_by_kissing/
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There is a 3rd possibility. If either of the baby's parents has a history of sexual abuse, they might be very protective of their son, with hair-trigger reflexes around somebody saying they can't control how they express their affection, or "I love him so much, it just happened." I can see why the parents might want to make relatives demonstrate their ability to respect boundaries wrt the baby. And I can see why LW's son might not want to discuss his reasoning: the simplest being that if you have to defend a boundary, it isn't really being respected.