Thanks for the examples, that does clear it up a bit. I think my mom and her siblings all separately were trying really hard to not be abusive parents after a truly harrowing childhood and knowing about all the horror stories on their families going like, all the way back down the generations. All of them have had flaws and abuser fleas as parents and this might be one of them, because I know my one aunt who clearly knew about boundaries and absolutely never allowed any adult fighting or conflict in front of her kids told her children much less detail (but they learned from the rest of us anyway). They were mostly stories about our moms' horrible childhoods and horrible family history, but I think they did gradually get more detailed as I got older too.

I did listen to my mom venting as a child, but so did my dad - I wasn't her confidante or anything. She just complains whenever she feels like it basically.