I also am getting parentification/enmeshment vibes from 2 and 3, especially "it feels like the beginning of their relationship marked the end of ours."
It is APPROPRIATE for an adult to form their own nuclear family unit and choose to make their spouse/children a priority -- that doesn't mean that you can't continue to be close to parents, but someone who sees a spouse as competition to the parent/child bond is not going to take it well.
I hope that 2 and 3 are able to go to therapy and LISTEN when the therapist tells them that whatever clear boundaries that were set don't need to be "understood" as much as respected. ("I don't understand WHYYYY they set a boundary" is very different from "I don't know what the boundary was.")
no subject
It is APPROPRIATE for an adult to form their own nuclear family unit and choose to make their spouse/children a priority -- that doesn't mean that you can't continue to be close to parents, but someone who sees a spouse as competition to the parent/child bond is not going to take it well.
I hope that 2 and 3 are able to go to therapy and LISTEN when the therapist tells them that whatever clear boundaries that were set don't need to be "understood" as much as respected. ("I don't understand WHYYYY they set a boundary" is very different from "I don't know what the boundary was.")