And kids are splendid are making up answers for Missing Reasons, and usually those Missing Reasons revolve around them because small kids’ understanding of the world revolves around them. “We’re not talking but it had nothing to do with you” can easily become, in a child’s mind, “They’re not talking and it must be about me but Dad doesn’t want to tell me.” (Which, ironically, is actually true in this case.) And it can easily extend to becoming things like “he doesn’t want to tell me because [he’s secretly upset at me and doesn’t want to talk with me/Uncle hates me because his dog got in trouble/it’s my fault and he’s hiding it because he’s my Dad/etc].”

So yes, 100% agreed with you that the columnist’s advice was dogshit.