I have experienced this problem so many times, especially in very loose social justice oriented communities. You get a missing stair who is autistic and non-binary, but they can't possibly be sexist or oppressive because they're not a man, and they can't accept criticism (even if you carefully avoid mentioning the sexism angle) because they're autistic and they got bullied as a child and criticism is basically bullying. I accept that as a cis, neurotypical person I am privileged in some ways compared to a non-binary, autistic person, but I don't accept that only men can be sexist and oppressive.