Speaking as a neurospicy dork, I agree with your reaction.

How Paul reacts is part of the key. There's two types of "confused and don’t understand what they did", broadly speaking. One kind is 'neurospicy fish in neurotypical waters' confused, where they don't know the rule in advance but can adjust once explicitly told. (random made-up example "Our meetings begin with ten minutes of chitchat, partly to allow for late arrivals and partly to break the ice; please don't launch immediately into business" may not be inherently obvious but once stated, the rule can be followed.) The other type is just stonewalling. It might be somewhat genuine, if the reasoning behind the behavior (e.g. women are irrelevant) is so fundamental to their worldview that they aren't consciously aware of it, but regardless, they don't want to change. They want to sidetrack into other issues ("I can't be sexist because I'm not attached to masculinity" or "maybe I'm autistic"), they want examples they can nitpick away, they want to bluff.

Neurospicy wiring isn't the issue -- being unwilling or unable to change harmful behavior is.