I think ex-friend sounds kind of meanspirited in the way she went about this, at least from how things are presented here, but I also think I'm more sympathetic to her than Carolyn is... it is frustrating to look at relationships and realize if you didn't carry them, the other person would probably go some indefinite number of years before it ever occurred to them to reach out. It sucks to realize that your efforts as a friend might not just be unappreciated, but totally unnoticed as efforts. It feels like your friend doesn't even care whether or not you're in their life.

Ultimately these two just aren't compatible from the sounds of it. LW needs to find friends who are more their style.