I think the key point here is "determined to find smoke so she can accuse me of starting fires": these are two people who don't trust each other. from what LW writes, he shouldn't trust her, but my advice would have been to either break it off now, or try to figure out if she's being controlling in other areas, and if not, sit down with a good counselor and see if they can build trust.

That said, what kind of person advises "your girlfriend is secure and controlling, so give in to her unreasonable demand this time"?