DEAR ABBY: When my wife was 17 (she's now 54), she was in a car accident. She and her three friends were high and drunk. She suffered two skull fractures, which have affected her memory. She thinks it's my job to remind her of things and becomes angry to the point of hitting things when I don't do it. I feel her schedule is her responsibility. But when I tell her that, she claims I am not being "supportive." -- UNSURE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR UNSURE: In successful marriages the division of labor is usually "each according to his ability, each according to his need." Your wife's schedule should be her responsibility, and if your wife were irresponsible, I'd agree with you. However, because she suffered a traumatic brain injury, she may be unable to be as organized as you are and need your help. That said, "hitting things" when she becomes frustrated is not appropriate, and she needs to find a less threatening and destructive way of venting.