I'm with both of the above. I find it intriguing that Abby's response focuses entirely on not knowing how to relate to a kid, and completely misses whether there's any not wanting to relate to the kid. I'm not going to try to read a whole lot into the letter, but it certainly has an undercurrent of that - he's very happy going out with his friends or having a child-free night out. I guess I'd ask LW a few things (or have them think about them): how does he talk about their child - to the child and to other people? Is he avoiding or actively resentful? What were his thoughts about children before the child was born? What was his reaction when the child was born? Does he now, and has he ever, done other things around the house to pull his weight (has he ever felt like an equal partner in other areas)? What was his own childhood like, and what kind of relationship does he have with his parents? These might not have THE answer, but they might help pointing the way.