I wonder how far apart the couple lives from the parents and in-laws and whether or not there are financial issues complicating things.
I do feel, though, that saying 'wait until you're 40' translates as 'we can't tell you never, but we know that 40 means never.' I can't imagine why one would tell someone, fertility challenges or not, to wait for 40. It's arbitrary, for one thing. Saying 'wait until you have a steady job' or 'wait until you finish your dissertation' or something else practical might make sense under some circumstances.
If it weren't for the thing with the sister, I might wonder if the LW's relationship looks unsteady/unhealthy to the parents or if the parents have concerns about something the LW hasn't mentioned. There are couples I've met where I look at them and pray that they never have children. Both sets of potential grandparents being against it pings me as extra weird and makes me wonder about mental health, financial, substance abuse, etc. issues. Or hereditary problems not being mentioned.
Someone who's 30 and who has been married five years is not rushing into having kids. The LW talks about it as a decision that the couple made together. That makes me hopeful that they've looked at the other potential challenges and thought about how to deal with them.
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I do feel, though, that saying 'wait until you're 40' translates as 'we can't tell you never, but we know that 40 means never.' I can't imagine why one would tell someone, fertility challenges or not, to wait for 40. It's arbitrary, for one thing. Saying 'wait until you have a steady job' or 'wait until you finish your dissertation' or something else practical might make sense under some circumstances.
If it weren't for the thing with the sister, I might wonder if the LW's relationship looks unsteady/unhealthy to the parents or if the parents have concerns about something the LW hasn't mentioned. There are couples I've met where I look at them and pray that they never have children. Both sets of potential grandparents being against it pings me as extra weird and makes me wonder about mental health, financial, substance abuse, etc. issues. Or hereditary problems not being mentioned.
Someone who's 30 and who has been married five years is not rushing into having kids. The LW talks about it as a decision that the couple made together. That makes me hopeful that they've looked at the other potential challenges and thought about how to deal with them.