You don’t owe anything to someone who treated you like shit, even if he’s genuinely changed (which I doubt).
You don’t owe it to your son to have his father in the house. I would argue that it’s better for your kid to see a model of a content single mom rather than growing up with the model that wives/moms bend over backward to accommodate husbands/fathers who treat them with disrespect. We sometimes become what we see growing up, and I doubt that’s the kind of husband/father you want your son growing up to become (on either side - if he ends up with a more dominant partner he may end up playing the bending-over-backward role, or may step into the disrespectful-lord role if he ends up with a more submissive partner).
You’re likely to deal with problems on this topic, particularly because Ex is almost certain to try to weaponize your son later on by casting the divorce as your fault, and that you’re selfish and the reason that his family isn’t together like some other families that your child will be acquainted with. Your child may lash out at you about this, particularly if he identifies himself more with the absent parent whose love he longs for (as versus the parent at home, whose love he takes for granted). But eventually your son will come to see the truth of who his dad is, and things will calm down. None of these are reasons to get back together with your ex; temporary suffering is always better than permanent suffering. They’re just things to prepare yourself for so it doesn’t hurt as much when it happens.
no subject
You don’t owe it to your son to have his father in the house. I would argue that it’s better for your kid to see a model of a content single mom rather than growing up with the model that wives/moms bend over backward to accommodate husbands/fathers who treat them with disrespect. We sometimes become what we see growing up, and I doubt that’s the kind of husband/father you want your son growing up to become (on either side - if he ends up with a more dominant partner he may end up playing the bending-over-backward role, or may step into the disrespectful-lord role if he ends up with a more submissive partner).
You’re likely to deal with problems on this topic, particularly because Ex is almost certain to try to weaponize your son later on by casting the divorce as your fault, and that you’re selfish and the reason that his family isn’t together like some other families that your child will be acquainted with. Your child may lash out at you about this, particularly if he identifies himself more with the absent parent whose love he longs for (as versus the parent at home, whose love he takes for granted). But eventually your son will come to see the truth of who his dad is, and things will calm down. None of these are reasons to get back together with your ex; temporary suffering is always better than permanent suffering. They’re just things to prepare yourself for so it doesn’t hurt as much when it happens.