LW1’s wife sounds like she’s dealing with a phenomenon a lot of my friends went through: if your parents let grandparents or elder siblings do the lion’s share of looking after you when you were small, it might be because they don’t like looking after little kids. They didn’t then and they don’t now.
(Of course there are other possible reasons! But people often don’t seem to think of this one.)
A similar example: my grandparents looked after my sister and me every single day after school until I was 14 or so, then I looked after both of us. This was not, it turns out, because my mum thinks this is the role grandparents should play when parents work and grandparents are retired (and that she will now play when it’s her turn to be the retired grandparent). That’s entirely her right, of course.
no subject
(Of course there are other possible reasons! But people often don’t seem to think of this one.)
A similar example: my grandparents looked after my sister and me every single day after school until I was 14 or so, then I looked after both of us. This was not, it turns out, because my mum thinks this is the role grandparents should play when parents work and grandparents are retired (and that she will now play when it’s her turn to be the retired grandparent). That’s entirely her right, of course.