How does the columnist know that LW’s husband is simply trying to control how things are done rather than control her? Making an experience so miserable for someone else that it’s not worth doing can absolutely be used as a method of personal control. Forbidding someone from going out is direct, while harassing them after they return and ruining the experience is indirect, but both achieve the same goal if next time the target decides not to go out because they want to avoid a fight afterward with aggressor. There are many examples of this in the real world, such as people providing sex they’re not interested in because that’s easier than dealing with their partner’s constant sulking and moodiness when the partner isn’t having as much sex as desired, or (almost always) women ending up with a far greater share of the workload due to weaponized incompetence by their partners. Things don’t have to be direct and obvious in order to be about controlling others.