Yep, this is a big neurodiversity and/or chronic illness issue for a lot of us. Having clutter can be comforting, or we get overwhelmed by the executive functioning required to clean, or we have depression or other illnesses that increase fatigue or decrease motivation and then cleaning becomes too much, etc.

I’ve constantly wished my brain were otherwise as well; cleaning is a life necessity for most of us and I wish it wasn’t so intensely draining and often upsetting. But despite years and years of reading books about how to get okay with cleaning and putting their advice into practice, I’ve had to accept that it’s never going to come naturally to me, it will never be a pleasant activity I feel satisfied by afterward, I find clean spaces somewhat existentially stressful, and cleaning is just a Swamp of Sadness I have to slog through as much as possible.