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Dear Care and Feeding,
I have four kids, all homeschooled. They are all straight-A students, very involved in various activities or passions, and the lights of our lives. Academics have always been very important to us, especially my husband. It’s not about the grades or the prestige of being able to tell the other parents “my kid’s a doctor!”, it’s about seeing them succeed and be financially independent from us. Our educational method worked! Our kids are happy and successful so far. The oldest two, “Caeden” (20M) and “Aimee” (18F) are in college, studying to be a surgeon and a criminal lawyer respectively. Our youngest two, “Brooklyn” (15F), and “Erin” (13F) are still figuring out what they want to do with their lives.
For Brooklyn’s freshman year, I encouraged her to look at degree plans, take community college classes, and check out internships for fields she might want to go into. I know there are a lot of things open to high schoolers in our state, and I wanted her to take full advantage. She is taking a plethora of community college courses right now, and she has plans to intern with a psychologist and a nurse practitioner next summer. She wants to potentially be a psychiatric nurse practitioner, which makes my husband very happy. He places a large amount of respect on the medical, engineering, and law fields. He’s now turning to Erin to see how we can help her figure out her passion. Erin has always been very advanced for her age, far beyond the normal 13-year-olds. She’s taking two community college courses right now! We haven’t pushed her into this, she is just naturally motivated to get after it. I love this about her. She’s always had an interest in art that went beyond a love of drawing, and after taking her first summer art class at the community college, she now wants to be an artist.
I love that she discovered this about herself at a young age, but my husband isn’t so happy. He says that art is a hobby, not a job. He thinks that you cannot make a career out of art. Huh? The entire reason we’re homeschooling our kids this way is so they can pursue ANY passion of theirs, not just what they feel like they have to do. Unfortunately, my husband thinks that Erin will grow out of her “phase.” Erin stubbornly insists that she wants to do art, and I’ve been backing her. He doesn’t understand that people can do jobs outside of nursing or law, and he has started bullying Brooklyn into telling her sister “what a real job looks like.” Brooklyn has panic attacks regularly because he’s been cornering her and yelling at her. I’ve had numerous talks with my husband, but nothing seems to get through. How can I help my husband realize that Erin’s passion is worth our acceptance and respect?
—Art Is a Career!
Dear Art Is a Career,
Remind your husband that there are many highly successful professional artists who earn an impressive living via their work, but also that there are other ways in which artists can support themselves while pursuing their passion. For example, many artists teach to keep the lights on. Point out how stressed out his approach makes Brooklyn feel. Explain that you all can talk to Erin about the challenges of supporting oneself as an artist and encourage her to think about ways she can both pursue her artistic passions while preparing herself for a life of financial independence; for example, she can double major in college and have a career that allows her to do art in her spare time. Erin is still young enough to change her mind about what she wants to do a few times before she even has to apply to college, so there is no need to put tremendous pressure on her to decide what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Continue encouraging her in spite of your husband’s criticism and let her know that ultimately, her path is in her own hands and that she will be the one to decide on her future career.
Link
I have four kids, all homeschooled. They are all straight-A students, very involved in various activities or passions, and the lights of our lives. Academics have always been very important to us, especially my husband. It’s not about the grades or the prestige of being able to tell the other parents “my kid’s a doctor!”, it’s about seeing them succeed and be financially independent from us. Our educational method worked! Our kids are happy and successful so far. The oldest two, “Caeden” (20M) and “Aimee” (18F) are in college, studying to be a surgeon and a criminal lawyer respectively. Our youngest two, “Brooklyn” (15F), and “Erin” (13F) are still figuring out what they want to do with their lives.
For Brooklyn’s freshman year, I encouraged her to look at degree plans, take community college classes, and check out internships for fields she might want to go into. I know there are a lot of things open to high schoolers in our state, and I wanted her to take full advantage. She is taking a plethora of community college courses right now, and she has plans to intern with a psychologist and a nurse practitioner next summer. She wants to potentially be a psychiatric nurse practitioner, which makes my husband very happy. He places a large amount of respect on the medical, engineering, and law fields. He’s now turning to Erin to see how we can help her figure out her passion. Erin has always been very advanced for her age, far beyond the normal 13-year-olds. She’s taking two community college courses right now! We haven’t pushed her into this, she is just naturally motivated to get after it. I love this about her. She’s always had an interest in art that went beyond a love of drawing, and after taking her first summer art class at the community college, she now wants to be an artist.
I love that she discovered this about herself at a young age, but my husband isn’t so happy. He says that art is a hobby, not a job. He thinks that you cannot make a career out of art. Huh? The entire reason we’re homeschooling our kids this way is so they can pursue ANY passion of theirs, not just what they feel like they have to do. Unfortunately, my husband thinks that Erin will grow out of her “phase.” Erin stubbornly insists that she wants to do art, and I’ve been backing her. He doesn’t understand that people can do jobs outside of nursing or law, and he has started bullying Brooklyn into telling her sister “what a real job looks like.” Brooklyn has panic attacks regularly because he’s been cornering her and yelling at her. I’ve had numerous talks with my husband, but nothing seems to get through. How can I help my husband realize that Erin’s passion is worth our acceptance and respect?
—Art Is a Career!
Dear Art Is a Career,
Remind your husband that there are many highly successful professional artists who earn an impressive living via their work, but also that there are other ways in which artists can support themselves while pursuing their passion. For example, many artists teach to keep the lights on. Point out how stressed out his approach makes Brooklyn feel. Explain that you all can talk to Erin about the challenges of supporting oneself as an artist and encourage her to think about ways she can both pursue her artistic passions while preparing herself for a life of financial independence; for example, she can double major in college and have a career that allows her to do art in her spare time. Erin is still young enough to change her mind about what she wants to do a few times before she even has to apply to college, so there is no need to put tremendous pressure on her to decide what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Continue encouraging her in spite of your husband’s criticism and let her know that ultimately, her path is in her own hands and that she will be the one to decide on her future career.
Link