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Dear Annie: I'm close to my nephews, one of whom recently married. The year before the wedding, during its planning, I told the couple that I would like to gift them their honeymoon to their choice destination, Greece, as their wedding present. They were thrilled. I gave them a check several months prior to the wedding to ensure they'd have any needed funds for deposits, airfare, etc., and told them it was fine to cash the check at that time.
I've since asked them to cash the check multiple times; the wedding and honeymoon having come and gone. My intended gift was the honeymoon, and my funds were not used for that.
I didn't intend to gift them a large sum for them to pay other expenses whenever they wanted. It's disconcerting not knowing when the sum will clear my account. Is this a generational thing? What is appropriate at this point? Just wait it out? -- Confused
Dear Confused: There is not much to be confused about. They are very clearly acting inappropriately and ungrateful. Your gift was very generous and thoughtful, two qualities it seems that the recent bride and groom are lacking. The gift of giving someone an experience is very thoughtful.
The next step would be to call your nephew and simply ask him when and how he plans to use the money. When you call, keep in mind that they did just get married and are probably very busy, but it is certainly not too much to follow up and ask about your gift. Best of luck to you.
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I've since asked them to cash the check multiple times; the wedding and honeymoon having come and gone. My intended gift was the honeymoon, and my funds were not used for that.
I didn't intend to gift them a large sum for them to pay other expenses whenever they wanted. It's disconcerting not knowing when the sum will clear my account. Is this a generational thing? What is appropriate at this point? Just wait it out? -- Confused
Dear Confused: There is not much to be confused about. They are very clearly acting inappropriately and ungrateful. Your gift was very generous and thoughtful, two qualities it seems that the recent bride and groom are lacking. The gift of giving someone an experience is very thoughtful.
The next step would be to call your nephew and simply ask him when and how he plans to use the money. When you call, keep in mind that they did just get married and are probably very busy, but it is certainly not too much to follow up and ask about your gift. Best of luck to you.
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