I think you may have come to the conclusion the drug use may be more serious from the phrase "completely out of control." From my own lived experience (I am 37 now), that is often a dog whistle used by adults who do not want to actually communicate or compromise with anyone under the age of 18. They merely want to have their will/command obeyed.
I can also say from personal experience, there is a lot of "well good riddance to you" on both sides once the kid hits 18 and other adults are no longer rallying to the individual giving the "completely out of control" dog whistle, and all of a sudden, the former kid now has options available they didn't have when they were younger because the adults in their lives were not interested in communicating or trying to compromise. Suddenly, the other adults are now the ones communicating about options/choices available...because "you do this, and if you don't like it, sorry about you - suck it up and deal - I can call the cops and have them bring you right back to me" is no longer an option once a kid reaches the age of 18.
Also from my own experience, these are the kinds of adults who don't know how to compromise/communicate with kids, and they tend to weirdly choose the "let's escalate this situation" option. See: "I resent the kids coming over to our home because of what they are putting their parents through." It's weird to place the blame at the children's feet for a situation where there really is no reason to place blame (but if you are going to place blame, why would you blaming the individuals with the least amount of lived experience who equally have no idea how to navigate this??? Why would you expect a 13 and a 16 year old to have any idea of how to navigate whatever they are going through that is causing them to act out when their grown adult parents are just as lost? Super bizarre).
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I can also say from personal experience, there is a lot of "well good riddance to you" on both sides once the kid hits 18 and other adults are no longer rallying to the individual giving the "completely out of control" dog whistle, and all of a sudden, the former kid now has options available they didn't have when they were younger because the adults in their lives were not interested in communicating or trying to compromise. Suddenly, the other adults are now the ones communicating about options/choices available...because "you do this, and if you don't like it, sorry about you - suck it up and deal - I can call the cops and have them bring you right back to me" is no longer an option once a kid reaches the age of 18.
Also from my own experience, these are the kinds of adults who don't know how to compromise/communicate with kids, and they tend to weirdly choose the "let's escalate this situation" option. See: "I resent the kids coming over to our home because of what they are putting their parents through." It's weird to place the blame at the children's feet for a situation where there really is no reason to place blame (but if you are going to place blame, why would you blaming the individuals with the least amount of lived experience who equally have no idea how to navigate this??? Why would you expect a 13 and a 16 year old to have any idea of how to navigate whatever they are going through that is causing them to act out when their grown adult parents are just as lost? Super bizarre).