Every person I know has a different idea of what they would prefer for their funeral/burial/vision for what happens after they die. And it never seems to make anyone happy. But my rule of thumb is this: do what the person wanted bc it is the last time to respect their wishes. And it is their wishes not yours. (unless they have no wishes and then well.. you do what you would prefer/can afford/find the most reasonable way to accommodate your feelings about it.)
I feel the same about wills as well. (and they can get totally spiteful to their relatives as if they can be nasty for all the times they have ever wanted to be nasty.) Do what you can to follow the letter of the will (it all goes only to one person? even if there are 3 who could have received something? fine it all goes to that one person who then can do what they want.. which hopefully is give it to the others or even give it away.) but this idea of making people comply with you after you are dead is.. silly. They are their own people with their own lives and you, well you are no longer here so it shouldn't matter anymore.
Doesn't mean people don't try to do all sorts of manipulative things about death and wills and burials etc. all of it is so hard. All I wish is for easy and I respect anyone who tries their best to make it easy for the people they leave behind. LW #1 was trying to make it easy by telling their family their wishes, it is the family who is making it hard. LW #2 is trying to make it hard for the family, and the family is trying to comply and tying themselves into knots to make it past their death to finally get to live their lives. OOF on both counts.
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I feel the same about wills as well. (and they can get totally spiteful to their relatives as if they can be nasty for all the times they have ever wanted to be nasty.) Do what you can to follow the letter of the will (it all goes only to one person? even if there are 3 who could have received something? fine it all goes to that one person who then can do what they want.. which hopefully is give it to the others or even give it away.) but this idea of making people comply with you after you are dead is.. silly. They are their own people with their own lives and you, well you are no longer here so it shouldn't matter anymore.
Doesn't mean people don't try to do all sorts of manipulative things about death and wills and burials etc. all of it is so hard. All I wish is for easy and I respect anyone who tries their best to make it easy for the people they leave behind. LW #1 was trying to make it easy by telling their family their wishes, it is the family who is making it hard. LW #2 is trying to make it hard for the family, and the family is trying to comply and tying themselves into knots to make it past their death to finally get to live their lives. OOF on both counts.