It's so depressing to read the POVs of parents who literally cannot see their children as *people*. Both of these LWs are determined to resist the idea that their kid has their very own set of sensory experiences, which are not LW's, and that a kid who habitually does something (that their parent finds inconvenient) is VASTLY more likely to be reacting to their own actual lived experience than plotting against their parent's supposed authority.

Making sure there are safe foods to fall back on and establishing standard "plain" restaurant orders (like the rice-and-egg viggorlijah mentioned) will help Ada a lot, especially if LW1 can get her head out of her ass about maliciously misinterpreting Ada's sensory issues as "stubbornness."

Also, LW2, you fucking asshole, get your poor kid some fidget toys. It might not stop the picking entirely! But *something* to redirect the twitchiness to might help minimize open wounds. There are definitely toys out there that are meant to be picked at, stretched, etc. (And hey, consider that if the pain and inconvenience of having constantly injured hands is NOT ENOUGH to stop the picking, there must be some kind of distress that's WORSE if she doesn't? Or possibly an impulse that's so strong it bypasses choice entirely. In any case, shame and pressure are the worst choices and the opposite of helpful.)