"He shouldn't have hit you, but you know, he might have had a point!"
Abuse isn't a "mistake", it's an intentional subversion of the victim's autonomy and self-esteem. Repairing a relationship after that is a helluva lot more complicated than forgive-and-forget.
"it couldn't hurt to treat him with some compassion." OH YES IT COULD. Let me count the ways...
Dealing with end-of-life issues is complicated, but it seems to me that Cautious should be focused on what she needs to do to have fewer regrets when her father passes - not on what he wants, or what's usually considered obligatory for a non-abusive parent. She might decide that she couldn't live with herself without trying to give him some chill almost-normal father-daughter time, and so try to figure out how she can do that in a way that's safe for her. Or she might decide that she doesn't really want anything to do with him anymore, and it sounds like that's his own damn fault. Or she might want something between the two.
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"He shouldn't have hit you, but you know, he might have had a point!"
Abuse isn't a "mistake", it's an intentional subversion of the victim's autonomy and self-esteem. Repairing a relationship after that is a helluva lot more complicated than forgive-and-forget.
"it couldn't hurt to treat him with some compassion." OH YES IT COULD. Let me count the ways...
Dealing with end-of-life issues is complicated, but it seems to me that Cautious should be focused on what she needs to do to have fewer regrets when her father passes - not on what he wants, or what's usually considered obligatory for a non-abusive parent. She might decide that she couldn't live with herself without trying to give him some chill almost-normal father-daughter time, and so try to figure out how she can do that in a way that's safe for her. Or she might decide that she doesn't really want anything to do with him anymore, and it sounds like that's his own damn fault. Or she might want something between the two.