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Missing missing reasons!
1. Dear Annie: My stepson said many nasty, derogatory, hurtful things about his recently deceased father. My husband was well-respected by his peers and friends. Yes, he had his faults, but I loved him dearly, and he was a very good man.
I wrote my stepson, let's call him "Dan," and told him how hurt I was and to say nothing about how I felt about his remarks was telling Dan I agreed with him. Dan did not respond to my letter after several months.
Now the dilemma. Birthdays are coming up. I do not want to send Dan a birthday/gift card as usual; I do not want any further contact with him since he has not responded to me.
Here's my question: Do I send his wife and children birthday/gift cards? They live out of state and I rarely saw them in the past. -- Stung Stepmom
Dear Stung: I am so sorry for your loss. It's cliche but true: Everyone grieves in his own way. Your stepson's hostility might have been his; beneath the raging surface could be unseen depths of pain. Hopefully, he will seek counseling to deal with any unresolved aggravation he felt toward his dad. I encourage you to leave the door open to reconnecting with him should he try to make amends.
In the meantime, keep sending birthday cards to your daughter-in-law and stepgrandchildren. The grandchildren are an extension of your husband, after all, and I think you'd regret losing contact with them.
https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearannie/s-2770761
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2. Dear Annie: I'm just heartbroken. My son moved out last year, and he never talked to me about anything before he moved. We were so close, and we always talked. But all of a sudden, he packed up and moved out with no explanation. He had met someone a year prior to that. I met her for a second, and that was it. I do know where he is living but he doesn't know that I know. He has a new baby boy; I don't even know his name, yet he is my grandson. I know that he has two stepdaughters, but I don't know their names either.
I kept trying to call him but get no response. Now his phone is disconnected. I'm so lost and confused as well as upset. I miss him dearly.
He is my only child. He did a great job in school and had his own business after he graduated from high school. I am trying so hard to go on with my life, but it's so hard not knowing how he is, or whether he is safe, healthy and happy. He was a very good kid, and now he's a man. I just hope and pray that he will come around some day. -- Mom Is Lost
Dear Mom Is Lost: That stinks, Mom. I really feel for you. Your son has cut off communication with you for now, but remind yourself that this will not be forever. When and if he comes around, the most important thing to do is not get mad at him for ghosting you the way he did but rather to welcome him in with open arms. Give him lots of love, and at some point, he will explain why he left the way he did.
He might have been torn between wanting to grow up and be his own man while not wanting to hurt you and leave you alone. So instead of doing the mature thing and explaining all that to you, that he was leaving the nest, he just flew away in order to avoid a conflict or to deal with your hurt feelings.
I wrote my stepson, let's call him "Dan," and told him how hurt I was and to say nothing about how I felt about his remarks was telling Dan I agreed with him. Dan did not respond to my letter after several months.
Now the dilemma. Birthdays are coming up. I do not want to send Dan a birthday/gift card as usual; I do not want any further contact with him since he has not responded to me.
Here's my question: Do I send his wife and children birthday/gift cards? They live out of state and I rarely saw them in the past. -- Stung Stepmom
Dear Stung: I am so sorry for your loss. It's cliche but true: Everyone grieves in his own way. Your stepson's hostility might have been his; beneath the raging surface could be unseen depths of pain. Hopefully, he will seek counseling to deal with any unresolved aggravation he felt toward his dad. I encourage you to leave the door open to reconnecting with him should he try to make amends.
In the meantime, keep sending birthday cards to your daughter-in-law and stepgrandchildren. The grandchildren are an extension of your husband, after all, and I think you'd regret losing contact with them.
https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/dearannie/s-2770761
2. Dear Annie: I'm just heartbroken. My son moved out last year, and he never talked to me about anything before he moved. We were so close, and we always talked. But all of a sudden, he packed up and moved out with no explanation. He had met someone a year prior to that. I met her for a second, and that was it. I do know where he is living but he doesn't know that I know. He has a new baby boy; I don't even know his name, yet he is my grandson. I know that he has two stepdaughters, but I don't know their names either.
I kept trying to call him but get no response. Now his phone is disconnected. I'm so lost and confused as well as upset. I miss him dearly.
He is my only child. He did a great job in school and had his own business after he graduated from high school. I am trying so hard to go on with my life, but it's so hard not knowing how he is, or whether he is safe, healthy and happy. He was a very good kid, and now he's a man. I just hope and pray that he will come around some day. -- Mom Is Lost
Dear Mom Is Lost: That stinks, Mom. I really feel for you. Your son has cut off communication with you for now, but remind yourself that this will not be forever. When and if he comes around, the most important thing to do is not get mad at him for ghosting you the way he did but rather to welcome him in with open arms. Give him lots of love, and at some point, he will explain why he left the way he did.
He might have been torn between wanting to grow up and be his own man while not wanting to hurt you and leave you alone. So instead of doing the mature thing and explaining all that to you, that he was leaving the nest, he just flew away in order to avoid a conflict or to deal with your hurt feelings.