ashbet: (Default)
ashbet ([personal profile] ashbet) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt 2022-12-03 07:47 am (UTC)

I regret that this is a “missing missing reasons” letter, because my responses are different if the wife’s objections are:

> He’s going to kill himself doing this.

> This is an enormous money/time-suck.

> Legitimate moral/ethical objections.

> Personal distaste.

> Petty reasons about change/inconvenience.

> Controlling/he’s not allowed to have a life outside of her.

> Participation would irreparably change their marriage.

> Other people/animals would be harmed.

> Etc.

The nature of the “hobby” really does matter, in this case.

I’m naturally sympathetic to the idea of “I gave up something I loved in favor of adult responsibilities and raising a family, and now I want to enrich my retirement/empty-nest years by taking it up again” — but the degree of coyness in this letter is setting off alarm bells.

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