Well, I mean, I sometimes do, but that's usually because it's my own homemade pizza and it's ... well, let's just say that extra thick crusts and gluing all the toppings together doesn't always work as well as might be wanted.

I shudder to think what these grandparents will do when they next attend a gradeschool social picnic where there are 20 boxes of lukewarm pizza and no forks. And a sandbox. Why, they might melt right into the ground from the sheer monstrosity of it all.