I laughed so loudly reading the second one that I had to explain it to my kids. I didn't add that for years I was Halle, doing all the shopping for my ex and him taking the credit because he paid for the cost of his gifts.

I get the first person's hurt - these are mutually exchanged lists! And the other people are deliberately ignoring them while getting their desired presents. I would be curious about what kind of things are being given - super religious items, items the other family perceives should be given, the requests are too expensive?

I'm with LW, make it gifts for kids and the adults exchange cards or mugs or something basic and repeatable.